The Purpose of the Internets…

Recently I read an article that joked that we have found out what purpose the internet serves.  Comedy.  And after literally minutes of thought, I think that may actually be correct.

I asked myself, “Myself, why do I blog?”  To amuse me and others.   Do I feel I have deep and profound things to say every day?  Nope.  But can I find something stinking hilarious every day?  You betchur sweet bottom.

Why do I look at other blogs? To find something humorous.  The great thing about writing a blog is the opportunity to try out different comedic elements.  A picture here, a video there, and follow it up with a snarky comment.  What more could you want from the interweb.

So, with that in mind, here is a baby preacher.

Awesome attempt, but not quite successful.

This reminds me of my younger days playing basketball with the guys.

Can you name this celebrity?

Pepsi Ad, circa 1984

This one should bring back memories for many of you.  I kind of remember this being a big deal when it came out.

Machu Picchu Hawk

I have never been to Machu Picchu, but it is a place I have wanted to visit.  A recent visitor took this picture while he was there.

And now…

A kitten on a turntable.

Awkward, huh?

I have a unique ability.  Well, I have a bunch of unique abilities, but there is one that I am thinking of right now in particular.  I get awkward around people who are celebrities, or even an almost celebrity.

For example, a couple of years ago I was attending Annistown Road Baptist Church.  It got to the point of the shake hands with the people around you part of the service.  I turn around to the guy behind me, shake his hand, move on to the next guy, and say “Hi, I’m Jody.”

At this point, I finally realize I am about to shake Dominique Wilkins’ hand.  The greatest Atlanta Hawks basketball player ever.  Hall of Famer.  I had this poster on my wall as a teen.

He said, “Hi, I’m Dominique.”   Here is where my special ability kicks in.  I respond with the brilliant, “Dominique?”  Like I didn’t know who he was.  I acted like I didn’t quite catch his name.  I mean, he’s 6’9″.  I had his poster on my wall! Moron…

This will probably start kicking in at odd moments in the future.  I mean, I’ve known Tripp Crosby since seventh grade, but I haven’t seen him in a couple of years.  Tyler Stanton, he was a summer staffer here at Look Up for several years.  Now that they are big time, I can just envision the next conversation. Idiot…

The Dooze

For anyone who has owned a dog, this is a must read article by Bill Simmons from ESPN.  Hankies needed.

The Dooze

My dream date with Zac Efron

What can I say about the dreamboat named Zachary Gertrude Efron?  Nothing that has not been said by a billion teenage girls in the past couple of years.  But I do have another question.  What would our dream date be like?

First, I would pick him up on my motorcyle outside his teepee.  We would, of course, wear full matching unicorn motorcycle gear.  Safety first.  Next we would head to PF Chang’s for brunch.   He would have the boiled cabbage, while I would have the bacon-wrapped pork chop, with a blue Gatorade.  Electrolytes are important to your health.

After brunch, we would head to the boardwalk at the Simpsonville Bi-Lo and rent a Razor Scooter.  We would have a blast with Zac on the handlebars, and me propelling us along, waving to all the beautiful people we pass.  Along our ride, we would have to stop at a CVS pharmacy to replenish Zac’s hair products, since he is always running low.

Riding a Razor scooter is hard work, so after working up a hunger we would grab Fish Sandwiches at Long John Silver’s.  It would be getting dark about this time, so we would go to the Byers and Sons Accounting Fireworks Extravaganza, sponsored by Toni’s Taco’s.  What a wonderful day!   With a firm handshake, we would bid each other adieu.  Thanks, Zac.

5 Favorite Numbers

1.  76

2.  14

3.  397,008

4.  H

5.  52